*
Have you heard the one about the scientisimist and the electron microscope?
Good.
It goes something like this.
A scientisimist is walking down his laboratory.
He fires up ol’ Bessie and sticks a sample into the slot.
He’s dotted all his eyes and crossed all his tease, fingers and opposable thumbs, praying to his last laser beam in the jungle that he can get to the 99th decimal place from this State funded hunk o’ junk one more time…
"Come on, Bessie. You can do it, girl…"
"Blasted! 98 decimal places. Why does this always happen to me?! Why won’t they give me more money so I can get a decent electron microscope and finish this brilliant paper so that the only other guy on this planet who can understand it, once he finishes his own identical paper, might care to read it!"
He spends the night checking the machine. Checks it again. Takes it apart. Puts it back together. Checks the outlet. Checks the plug. Reads the manual. Reads it a third time. Calls the manufacturer, the programmer, his doctor, dentist, policeman, fireman, and therapissed too.
"Everything is working perfectly!"
97 days later…
"Blasted! 96 decimal places!"
He passes out and hits his head on the bookshelf.
He eventually comes to…
"What’s this?
The Bible?
Lemme see…
'In the beginning…'"
Slam!
"What a load of baloney."
The End.
*
